More Than Meets the Eye
by Mr. Chaos
Summary: Their War, Our World, Spike’s Problem. When everyone’s favorite Vampire turns out to be the only hope to find the mysterious Allspark, the Scoobies find themselves dragged into an ancient war between two feuding alien factions. Spuffy, Transformers Xover
1. Chapter 1

* * *

Author's Note: The following takes place in an alternate Season 5. No Glory, Dawn is just a regular girl. Riley left after the end of Season 4 in the exact same way. Otherwise, everything is the same: Buffy is still mistreating Spike, Joyce is sick, the world ends on a Tuesday. I do not own either Buffy or Transformers, and dialogue is from Transformers, the 2007 Movie.

Betaed by Cylon One

* * *

Once in every generation, there is…

* * *

…the Cube. We know not where it comes from. Only that…

* * *

…she is destined to…

* * *

…find it and rebuild our home. And just when all hope seemed lost, a message of a new discovery drew us to…

* * *

… the Slayer.

* * *

But it was already too late.

_

* * *

_

Brazil-Present Day

Riley wiped his brow, sweet pouring down in face. Not for the first time, he questioned why, exactly, he had decided to sign up for this mission in Brazil…during the summer…during the worst heat wave the region had ever seen.

"Can I borrow that?" Sam asked, taking Riley's rag and soaking it with water, patting her neck.

It did have a nice view…that was for sure.

"Oh, this is hotter than Mama's Cajun gator cakes." Another soldier, Fig, said.

Graham made a face. "You really have to stop with the talk about gators."

Fig frowned. "Don't knock it until you try it! Those gators…they taste just like chicken…"

"You know what also tastes like chicken? Chicken." Graham answered.

Fig began to jabber on in Spanish.

"English, please…English." Graham pleaded.

"How many times do we have to tell you, we don't speak Spanish?" Riley asked playfully.

"Why you have to ruin it for me? It's my heritage. You don't see me complaining when you go on and on about…corn."

Riley frowned. "One time, Fig…one time." Sam chuckled.

They were flying back to the base the American Government had set up deep in the Rain Forest, away from the tourists and prying eyes. The entire squad was coming off of a month in the deepest parts of the Amazon, where their hunt for Welker Demons had yielded little results. Most thought the beasts had been taken out years ago, replaced by stronger demons, but high command wanted to know for sure.

Their plane landed an hour later, leaving the squad plenty of time to write up their mission reports without needing to cut into their down time. Riley was glad about that. He really wanted to spend some time with Sam, maybe advance their relationship from friendly to…more than friendly.

Wink wink.

* * *

"Colonel Sharp, we have an inbound unidentified infiltrator, 10 miles out." One of the techs said, looking at his radar screen. The command post was abuzz with men moving about, calling out data and telling senior officers about the newest update.

Colonel Sharp, collected, cool and used to things like this happening, made his way to the mic. When your operation was highly classified, you always ended up with little surprises like this. "Unidentified aircraft, you are in restricted US military airspace. Squak ident and proceed east out of area."

Normally, one of two things would happen. Either the aircraft would do as asked, or they would respond with the code needed to allow them to continue on. Standard procedure, nothing fancy.

The aircraft remained silent and dead on course.

Giving the command for the Raptors to lead the aircraft towards the base so they could investigate, Colonel Sharp turned to another tech.

"Sir, tail is 4500 X-ray…" The tech said. "That plane was shot down 3 months ago in Kosovo."

"Impossible." Sharp said.

"Sir…I had a friend on that helicopter that went down…it was 4500X."

* * *

Riley smiled as he handed Sam a Coke. "Don't ask me how I managed to sneak these in." He said with a grin.

Sam nodded, pulling out two Snickers. "Don't ask about these then." The two of them began to eat, relaxing in Riley's tent. The army had decided to provide only tents for teams like Riley's, since they spent so much time on the field. It would have been a waste of money to assign them rooms they would rarely sleep in. "How long this time?"

"Not sure." Riley answered honestly. All of the squad was wondering how long it would take for High Command to send them out on a mission. Some prayed for never, wanting to just relax and let their nerves heal up. But for Riley and Sam, the wait was worse than the actual fighting. In the field, at least one knew to expect anything, that the paranoia one felt was justified, because at any moment something from the worst nightmares of the most disturbed minds could come crashing from the undergrowth.

"You think this will be our last one?" Sam asked. Riley grimaced at that thought. The army was thinking about pulling the plug on the demon hunting section of the military. The Initiative had cost them billions, yielded no returns, and, of course, nearly resulted in the end of the world. There were whispers of just letting the Slayer do the job…it was her problem anyway.

The Slayer…that made Riley grow solemn. He'd left things bad with Buffy…he could see that now. He'd been petty, forcing her to choose when he himself would have balked at such a demand. To make matters worse, Riley had never planned on staying, even if Buffy did show up in time. He'd rigged it as best he could so she would show up too late, that she would have to watch him leave. His little, "Screw you" job.

It made him sick thinking about it.

"Riley…Finn, you ok?" Sam asked.

Riley shook his head, trying to focus. "yea…sorry…" He muttered, still lost in the past.

* * *

"Something's not right." Sharp said to himself, watching as the massive dark helicopter landed. It was an intimidating machine; big yet slim, like a shark given wings. Loaded to the teeth, too. There were some countries in Africa that didn't have the firepower this helicopter had.

Men moved about, all other projects forgotten, trying to coordinate the ground forces that were slowly surrounding the helicopter. Emergency plans were being pulled out, high officers wondering which dreamed up scenario this could be. Everything from demons hijacking the copter to magic making the aircraft appear as it did were tossed out, even as the machine came to a stop, framed against the now darkened sky.

"Radar's jammed." One tech said, panicking, trying everything he could to get the computer online. More techs began to cry out as their screens went to static. In fact, every computer on the base was being jammed, shutting down and leaving them in the dark.

"Power down now!" Sharp demanded over the radio, the helicopter's blades still whirling.

THUNK

The blades stopped dead.

Then, they began to fold back like a Chinese fan.

Chaos overtook the copter, every bit of metal and armor shifting about smoothly, traveling along the rapidly changing vehicle. Bullets bounced off its form as it began to rise, losing its width and gaining height. The cockpit broke apart, revealing that no one was inside, while the tail began to swing around and the bellow opened to reveal what could only be described as…legs.

"Oh my God." Sharp whispered.

Two glowing red eyes came on line as the…thing…that had once been a helicopter raised its hand and returned fire, soldiers screaming as their bodies were torn to bits by the gun blasts the copter was laying down on them. One jeep exploded, the fire flaring and highlighting the mechanical monster let loose an energy wave that shattered every window on the base.

* * *

Riley covered his head as the lights that kept the base lit exploded, plunging them into darkness. He looked around, Sam at his side, watching as soldiers forgot everything from boot camp and panicked.

"They bombed the antenna farm!" Graham screamed, running towards them. "We're under attack!"

* * *

The being known as Blackout looked down at the structure that held the computer he needed, wondering just how pathetic these 'humans' could be. They used such flimsy resources to protect their most precious devices? It was almost too easy…Blackout had been hoping for something of a challenge.

Ripping away the roof, he reached down to grasp the main server of the supercomputer, wires sprouting from his fingers and hacking easily into the system.

How his glorious master was a prisoner of these insects, he would never know…but he would look forward to making them pay for their insult to him…and to his master.

All he needed was the right file…

* * *

"Go! Move! Move!" Sharp ordered, rushing towards he main server. He stared up, for a moment unable to even comprehend what he was seeing. It was like the hand of God had crashed to Earth, its purpose beyond his small mind. Finally managing to break away, he stared in horror at the one working computer that was left on base, which was currently showing all sorts of images flashing by. "It's going after the files!" He cried out. "Cut the hard lines!

"I need a key! It's locked!"

Sharp turned towards the axe that lay in the fire emergency box, not thinking twice to slam his fist through the glass, pulling the tool out even as his hand bled. Raising the ax high, he let it drop on the massive cord bundle that connected the server to the government's main network.

* * *

Riley hefted his gun, leading his squad through the wreckage that had been their base. Flames shot up around them, the screams of the dying echoed in their ears, and the heavy footfalls of the machine that was causing it all drummed out their doom.

Graham cried out as he slid, the machine's feet coming down between him. He rolled onto his back, staring at the harbinger of death. When asked later, Graham would not be able to explain why he reached for his camera, or how he had the insight to snap the picture. All he did know was that as soon as the flash went off, the machine looked down at him and opened its chest, a massive cannon extending. He just managed to get to his feet and dive for cover as the mech fired hellfire upon him.

Fig took his shot, firing off a grenade that sent the colossus stumbling back, giving Riley and his team the time needed to slip away.

* * *

Blackout was pissed and pleased at the same time. Pissed, because these little ants had managed to escape; an embarrassment considering how unworthy their weapons were to taking down a creature like him.

Pleased, because now he could have some real fun.

Turning, Blackout rolled his shoulders, a massive hunk of metal flying off of him. Unfolding like a pup tent, the mindless drone known as Scorponok drilled himself into the sand, giving chase after the humans.

Blackout charged his weapon as he watched some humans try to escape. He gave them several standard time clicks before he fired off, their death screams music to his audio receptors.


	2. Chapter 2

_I do not own Bufffy or Transformers. Betaed by Cylon One_

_Sunnydale Temporary School_

"Miss Summers, you're up."

Dawn nodded, hurrying to the front of the class, a paper sack clutched in her hand. Making a spot on the teacher's desk, Dawn stood in front of the chalkboard, the words 'Cultural Study Presentations- TODAY' printed in white chalk.

"Ok." Dawn said with a grin, racing right into her presentation. "As you all know, we were asked to research a time period and discuss what life was like back then. I've decided to do much better...I'm going to show you." Reaching into the bag, she pulled out a leather bound journal. "I selected to discuss life in England, circus..."

"Circa...Miss Summers." The teacher corrected, several students chuckling. "Circa."

"Right. Circa 1850-1880." Dawn flashed another grin. "Back then, they didn't have electricity or TVs or computers or a mall...it was really pathetic." She flipped her long brown hair to one side. "But they still managed to have fun, in their...own sad little ways." She held up the journal. "Back then, if you had money, you were lucky, as you could afford to buy things like...this." She waved it about, the class already beginning to grow bored. "Now, it wasn't just teenage girls that would write in these...a lot of guys did too. It was real important to keep records of your great feats, that way your children could read up on you...as you most likely would die of a plague...or something."

* * *

Dawn grinned as she looked down at the A- she'd gotten on her report. She couldn't believe she had done that well...'Wait till Buffy sees this...show her who got the brains.'

Of course, Dawn wouldn't mention that the only reason she got the A- was because she had borrowed several items that belonged to someone that had actually LIVED in the 1880s.

Someone...that was currently seated in his beat up car, glaring at her through the one hole in the painted up windows.

"Uh..." Dawn stammered as the door swung open.

"Bit...in...now." Spike snarled

Dawn reluctantly did as he asked, just managing to get her seat belt on before Spike floored it. Pressed back into the seat, her stomach slammed against her spine, Dawn glanced over at her friend, gulping as she noticed his eyes flash gold as he stared straight ahead.

"I'm going to ask this once..." Spike ground out, "Did you steal my stuff?"

"Uh...what stuff?" Dawn asked innocently.

"Don't give me that, Dawn!"

'Uh oh...given name...going to die.' Dawn thought.

"There is only one person who knows where I put my journal...and one person that was begging me to tell her about life back in the Mother Land." Spike turned towards her slowly, eyes boring into her soul. "So...the truth?"

Dawn blurted out the entire story as quickly as she could. Spike felt like his brain was going to pop as Dawn went on and on about trying to upstage some girl named Cathy and how the library was closed and how Buffy had been on her to do better and how if she hadn't stolen the items Social Services would have dragged her away...

Finally, Spike held up a hand. "Stop...answer this, and try not to do your impression of Red and her rambling...did it help ya out?"

Dawn nodded meekly.

Spike smirked. "Then next time ask me, bite-size." Dawn let out a sigh of relief as they continued to drive along. "So, how'd ya manage it?"

Dawn grinned at that. "Gave Clem 15 bucks to distract you."

Spike grumbled to himself. "Lousy wrinkly bastard..."

Rummaging through the sack, Dawn began to pull items out. "My teacher really liked all this stuff. Your journal...this little box thing..."

"Cigarette case, bit."

"Whatever." She pulled out some glasses. "Surprised you kept these...know I wouldn't want to keep a pair of nerd specs..."

Spike's hand struck like a viper, batting the glasses back into the back. "Weren't mine." He said, gripping the wheel tighter. "Don't take my stuff again."

Startled by his mood swing, all Dawn could do was nod her head weakly. "S...sorry."

Spike just kept driving.

"Where...where are we going?"

Reaching down, Spike pulled a coupon from his pocket. "New car wash...figure the Desoto could use a scrub down."

Dawn crinkled her nose. "Indoor car wash?"

Spike shrugged. "Sunnydale, bit, they're stupid like that."

The two of them continued to drive in silence, Dawn still marveling over the fact that Spike clipped coupons. Soon, the vampire turned off into the parking lot of the gaudy, overly bright car cleaners. Blue and silver fringe hung from wires, neon lights pointed the way to the waiting station, and worst of all, a poorly dressed clown held up a sign advertising the place.

"How the mighty have fallen." Spike muttered, pulling under the canopy in front of the building. Only when he managed to dart inside, entering the ill-lit lobby/showroom did Spike finally glance back, Dawn on his heels, the paper bag and her backpack in hand. Spike raised an eyebrow.

"I get the feeling anything we leave inside will be 'misplaced' when we get the car back." Dawn hissed.

"Smart thinking." Spike said as he walked over to the owner of the place, who was almost as loud as his yellow shirt was.

"MANNY! GET YOUR DAMN COUSIN OUT OF THE CLOWN SUIT! HE'S HAVING A HEAT STROKE AGAIN. SCARING THE WHITE FOLKS."

"I'm hot! Makeup's melting. It hurts my eyes." The clown complained.

The loud man turned to Spike. "And they don't come any whiter than you, huh pale face." Before Spike could even get off a comment, the man was shaking his hand. "Bobby Bolivia. Like the country without the runs. How can I help ya?"

Spike shoved the coupon into Bobby's hands. "Clean the paint, clear out the trash, leave everything else, especially the windows." He snarled.

Bobby nodded. "A man that knows what he wants. I like that, I like that. Don't worry, our special secret cleaning gear will have it shining in no time!" He glanced at the Desoto as Manny the mechanic hopped in and drove it towards the back to be sprayed off with a garden hose and waxed with whatever Bobby had managed to buy at the dollar store on clearance. "Tell me, future heart breaker..." he pointed at Dawn, "You gonna learn how to drive soon?" Before she could answer, Bobby broke into his tale. "Remember only this: person don't pick the car...the car picks them. It's a mystical bond between man and machine."

"Uh huh." Dawn muttered.

Out back, Manny parked the car and went to grab his soap bucket. If he had stayed, he would have noticed a strange sight...even for Sunnydale: An exact replica of the Desoto, down to the same dents and painted windows, pulled up behind Spike's car and gently pushing it away, past the small shed that housed the cleaning supplies and into the tangled mess of overgrown brush and trash left by the workers during their lunch breaks. Spike's car completely hidden, the second Desoto backed up into place, just as Manny emerged from the back with an old orange sponge.

Back inside, Bobby was still sweet-talking Dawn. "I tell ya, when you get your first car, you come here...I'm gonna start selling cars..."

"I know." Dawn gripped. "You told me 5 times now."

"And you can trust me. I ain't a liar...not in front of my mammy." He pointed towards a closed door. "My mammy works here...don't like her seeing me do anything sinful. MAMMY! Come out and say hello to our guests!"

The door cracked out, Mammy sticking her head out, Spike covering Dawn's eyes when it was clear the 81 year old was buck-naked. "Leave me alone you idiot...and go buy me some more Trojans!"

"Big ones!" Manny's other cousin shouted.

"Oh yea..." Mammy laughed, slamming the door.

"Oh, such a kidder...when I get done I'll beat you like Ike beat Tina." Bobby laughed with glee, clapping his hands. "Now, why don't we take a look at some accessories I got for sale..."

"Just the car, mate." Spike snapped.

As if on cue, Manny pulled out, the Desoto sparkling...or sparkling as much as it could with a coat of cheap wax. Patting the door, he stepped out, handing Spike the keys. "There ya go, senor."

"What I tell ya about that senor stuff?" Bobby complained as Dawn and Spike inspected the car.. "You want to just wave a flag to the INS..."

"OI!" Spike snarled. "Where's my booze!"

"Booze?" Bobby asked.

"I left two full bottles of Jack Daniels back there, and now they're gone." He pointed a finger at Manny, eyes flashing yellow. "You have yourself a little celebration?"

Bobby glared at Manny. "You steal his booze?"

"No senor!"

"Quit with that senor stuff!" Bobby bellowed. "You made the customer mad...how dare you rile him up...if you think I'm going to stand by you..."

"I ain't paying." Spike stated.

Bobby whipped around, eyes blazing with fury. "Not paying! What do you think this is, Russia? We did a job, you pay!"

"You stole from us!" Dawn exclaimed.

"On second thought, I don't think I want you to come buy a car from me when you're 16." Bobby said, before turning on Spike. "Now listen here, you're paying, end of story!"

As the two argued, the car's radio turned on its own, flipping through stations. "...greater than man..." The radio squawked, before every window in the entire place shattered. Spike just managed to throw himself on top of Dawn, shielding her from the glass, bits flying about and cutting into everything they could find.

After a few moments, Bobby pulled himself from the desk he'd dove behind, staring at the carnage before him.

"NO CHARGE!"

_

* * *

_

The Magic Box

Giles watched as Willow typed away at her computer, face contorted in such a way that he wondered if she was trying to make her head explode or if she was preparing to soil herself.

To his left, Anya was trying to convince a customer to buy two more sets of candles, as it was "a great deal"...though Anya failed to tell said customer the candles would be on sale tomorrow.

Next to Anya, trying to talk to her even as she chatted with the overwhelmed customer, Xander was pleading his case that she should buy a pinball machine for the shop...and allow him to have free plays, of course.

Wondering exactly which route would best insure his sanity, Giles chose option four: Tara.

"How are you doing, my dear?" Giles asked politely.

Tara shifted uneasily. "Fine, Mr. Giles." She said softly, watching Willow work. "You?"

"Fine." Giles answered, striking down any chance for small talk. More than once, he wished he wasn't the only person over 25 in his group that wasn't a bloodsucking monster or a sex crazed former demon. "So tell me Tara...what are your plans for tonight?"

"Nothing." Tara answered simply.

'As the Americans would say, strike two.' Giles thought before deciding to just bite the bullet. "What is Willow working on?"

"You remember the Initiative?" Tara asked, realizing too late that of course he would...it had only happened a year ago. "Willow has been hacking into the government's database, keeping tabs on the military and their recent activities."

"Well, that is rather clever." Giles admitted. "Has she found anything?"

"I have." Willow said, having listened in the whole time. She turned around to face Giles and her girlfriend. "7 o'clock last night, a base the military had set up in Brazil to study demons was attacked."

"Wait...was Riley staying at that base?" Xander asked, entering the conversation.

"I'm not sure...if he was, it isn't good." Willow admitted sadly. "There were no survivors." She paused. "But that isn't the weird thing."

"There is something weirder than a demon base in Brazil being attacked?" Xander quipped.

"Whatever attacked tried to hack into the government's computer...they cut it off in time...but it scared them bad."

Giles frowned. "That is strange. I don't know of many demons that would take interest in a military computer...and none at all found in Brazil."

Anya nodded. "I know I wouldn't. Easier just to warp in and start killing. I did that back during the Civil War." She sighed. "Such a beautiful wish, "I wish my husband would have something else in his head other than this war." Easy enough to get John Wilkes Booth..."

"An...please?" Xander pleaded.

Willow clicked a few keys. "Here's something interesting..."

"What is it, sweetie?" Tara asked.

"They got a sound file of what attacked the base..." Willow hit a few keys, and a strange, shrieking noise filled the shop, sending tremors up everyone's spine.

Giles licked his lips. "That is very strange...I've never heard of a creature like that."

Anya nodded. "Can't be a demon."

"What else could it be?" Xander asked.

"Wild pig?" Anya guessed. At their stares, she shrugged. "I just know it wasn't a demon."

Giles ignored her, going to his books. "I must research this...if whatever made that sound could take out a military base, it would be wise to prepare for it to come here."

"Why would it c-come here?" Tara asked.

"Because everything evil comes to Sunnydale." Xander answered.


	3. Chapter 3

Betaed by Cylon One

* * *

"Spike

"Spike." Buffy said coldly, crofg her arms over her chest as he walked towards the house, Dawn at his side. "Dawn…where were you?"

Dawn frowned. "Why do you care?"

"I care when bloodsucking fiends take my baby sister out for joy rides all night." Buffy snapped.

"Didn't realize you were keeping tabs on me, Slayer." Spike quipped.

"It was only 4 hours, Buffy. Geez…" Dawn grumbled, storming past her sister. Spike made a move to follow, but Buffy shoved him back.

"First off, I don't care. Second, where do you think you are going?"

"Inside." Spike answered. "Thought that was obvious, what with me trying to go through the door. Though, I guess looking at those golden curls, I can see where you got confused."

Buffy grit her teeth. "You know, I heard dust makes a wonderful fertilizer…oh look, a bare patch…move five inches to the right."

"Last time I checked, I was allowed to do as I wanted, Slayer. No longer chained to the Watcher's tub…"

"Not when it is my house."

"Actually, it is my house." Joyce said from the doorway, giving Buffy her best 'angry-mom' stare. "I get to decide who enters, and I say Spike is welcome." Before Buffy could protest, Joyce shot her a dark look. "I also asked Spike to pick Dawn up and take her to dinner, since I had a late night at the gallery." She motioned for Spike to enter. "Thank you, Spike, for your help."

Spike shot Buffy a sweet smile as he entered, Joyce resting a hand on the small of his back as she guided him towards the kitchen. All Buffy could do was stare at their retreating forms, wondering how her mother and sister could stand to be around the bleached pest.

* * *

Brazilian Jungle

Riley, Sam, Fig, Graham and the other members of their squad pushed through the vines and low-lying plants that sought to ensnare them, traveling deeper into the jungle. They had been on foot for almost a day, the sun rising and setting once already. Each one was alert, knowing full well the dangers the jungle presented just with its known inhabitants.

The unknown ones…

To make matters worse, they were ill prepared. Few supplies, a gun for each of them with only half their normal ammo, none of the usual body armor they would wear to protect themselves.

Still, they pressed on.

Each knew that they had to reach the trading village, the one they had been told never to visit 'lest they give away their presence.

'Considering high command is dead…' Riley thought morbidly.

"I've never seen a weapons system like this." Graham murmured, looking at the image his camera had taken.

"My mama, she had the gift, you know?" Fig whispered, fondling the cross that hung from his neck. "She saw things. I got the gene, too, and that thing that attacked us? I got a feeling it ain't over."

"How about you use those magic voodoo powers to get us the hell out of here?" Sam asked.

"Enough." Riley snapped.

Graham licked his chapped lips. "When I took that picture, I think it saw me. It looked right at me."

"All right." Riley said after a moment. "We got to get this thing back to the Pentagon right away. They got to know what we're dealing with here."

* * *

Scorponok listened in as the soldiers talked, caring about nothing more than how close he was to them and how easy it would be to kill them all

* * *

Spike watched as Buffy pummeled a vampire, letting the ash of his cigarette drift in the wind as the Slayer did her thing. He was leaning against the Desoto; leather duster draped over him more like Superman's cape than a coat. Buffy grit her teeth in frustration, the vamp proving to be a bit harder than she had expected. Both of them knew that if she was in real trouble, Spike would rush in to her aid, but otherwise, he would let things run their course.

"A 10 from the British judge, but I think the Russian will have to deduct some points, luv." Spike quipped after Buffy finally managed to stake the vamp.

"Can it." Buffy snapped, annoyed. She picked up one of the stakes she had dropped, tucking it in her pocket before turning to glare at the bleached vampire. "And why is your useless behind still here?"

"Gazing at your useless behind bounce up and down." Spike snarked, giving her a saucy grin. "Course, considering your last boyfriend, I can understand why it became useless…" Buffy rolled her eyes, moving towards him, fist cocked. "Oi, you mind workin' over the gut this time, pet? Been a while since you punched me there."

Buffy jabbed him in the nose. "Why break tradition?" She wiped her hand on his shirt to rid herself of the blood that coated her knuckles. Already, Spike's broken nose was patching up, within a minute just like new. "And stop doing that?"

"What, getting my nose in the way of your fist?"

"Calling me all those stupid British nicknames." Buffy said, blowing a strand of hair from her eyes. "I'm not your pet and I'm not your love!"

"Don't know about the pet thing, you do act like a righteous bitch." Buffy punched him again. "Bloody hell, stop that!"

Buffy huffed. "Go, Spike. The last thing I need tonight is you and your pathetic jokes."

"Now you're confusin' me with the whelp." Spike commented.

"Spike, I'm serious. Mom has a doctor's appointment in the morning and I'd like to actually be awake for it." Buffy turned on her heel, marching away from the pest. "So why don't you just go be impotent elsewhere."

"Hey, I was tryin' to do somethin' nice for ya, Slayer. But if you don't want my help, go ahead and scamper off."

Buffy didn't bother to look back. "Annoying me is helping…sure, Spike, sure."

"No, you bint, I was going to give ya a lift." Spike patted his car. "Awful long walk to the next cemetery."

Buffy paused at that, slowing her walk to a crawl. It was a few miles to the next cemetery…it would really cut down on her time to drive there. And all she had to really put up with was Spike…

'Ok, not going.' Buffy thought quickly, until the image of her mother, alone at the doctor, flashed in her mind. "Fine…but keep your comments to yourself, or I'm breaking something a lot further south than your nose!"

Spike merely waved for her to enter, sliding behind the wheel and revving the engine. Buffy coldly got in, slamming the door as hard as she could.

"Watch the hinges!" Spike snapped, pulling off onto the road.

"I'd really hate to hurt your precious piece of crap." Buffy said, putting on her seatbelt, only for the belt to tighten hard around her for a moment. The Slayer began to cough, pulling on the belt.

"I know you and cars don't mix, luv, but really…you don't know how to put on a belt?"

Buffy crossed her arms. "One word…" She flipped on the radio.

"Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?" The speakers sang.

Buffy squinted through the one section of chipped paint there was on the passenger window, nose wrinkled in disgust. "We are nowhere near the cemetery."

"I'm taking a short cut…" Spike held up a hand. "I'm not trying anything funny, pet, just trying to get you out of my baby as fast as possible before you stink it up with your Slayer musk."

"Are you saying I stink?" Buffy snapped.

"You'd prefer if I said you smelled delicious?" Spike questioned, secretly wondering. Buffy didn't answer that, turning her head away just as the car began to putter out. Spike cursed, trying everything he could do to get the auto working.

"When I get that feeing, I want…sexual healing. Sexual…healing." The radio sang.

"I swear to God, Spike, you will be spending eternity in your ash tray if this is a set up!" Buffy yelled.

Spike threw open his door, waving his arms about as he stepped out. "Because sitting in a parked car on a dark side street is my idea of fun?" He questioned.

"You do enjoy a spot of murder, Spike, so I wouldn't put it past you."

Spike rolled his neck, bones popping. "Feeling more like murdering that annoying carwash guy…knew he was up to some tricks." Spike lifted the hood, his jaw dropping. "Bloody hell."

"What?" Buffy asked, coming to stand next to him. There, where Spike had expected a dirty, smoking engine, sat a gleaming engine. Fine headers, a high-rise double-pump carburetor, pistons factory new. "So…what's the problem?"

"The problem is that I have an engine I've never seen before."

"How is that possible?" Buffy questioned.

"Damned if I know, Slayer."

Buffy looked at her watch, groaning. "By the time you get this fixed, I'll have been better off walking." She waved her hand dismissively at Spike. "Thanks for the ride, Spike, let'snot do it again."

Spike grumbled, sliding into the driver's seat once more. "Stupid, sodding bints…stupid, sodding mechanics…"

"Baby come back!" The radio blared as the engine roared to life, Buffy pausing as Spike quickly hit reverse and pulled up beside her.

"I…got it fixed?" He offered, not sure what had happened.

Buffy narrowed her eyes before she finally got in. "Last chance, Spike…"

"Don't I know it." He muttered, wondering what the hell was going on.

* * *

Above the Atlantic Ocean

Hank Summers laid on the bed in his cabin, tossing a rubber ball up and down, a grin plastered on his face. He wished he could be two people, that way he could kiss himself for this brilliance.

Through sheer willpower and cunning, Hank had managed to leave his old job and get hired in by a private firm that was really going places. The company, the brainchild of someone very, very high up in the President's cabinet and staff, was the company of choice when the American Government needed something. From toilet seats to missiles, it was the company's job to provide it, and all at any price they wanted to set. The top executives were rolling in dough, and the employees were reaping the perks.

For Hank, the good fortune came in the way of a job a monkey could do. He got to fly, in a private jet with no expense sparred, to Japan to pick up some computer hard drive that was being delivered to Los Angeles. A 20-minute job that was netting him a two-week vacation.

Life was sweet.

* * *

After the last stewardess left the storage room, Frenzy finally transformed. His disguise, that of a silver boom box, quickly began to unfurl to reveal his 4-and-a-half-foot tall sinewy, fibrous form. Clicking his mandibles, he slinked his way through the hall, pausing to listen to the being called Hank Summers begin to sing "Like a Virgin".

"_Stupid mammal."_ Frenzy said to himself, considering for a moment vaporizing the man to stop his hideous singing before ruling against it, instead deciding to continue on his mission.

Nail-like fingers hacked into the security door, allowing the Decepticon entry. Before him stood the hard drive he had been searching for, fingers tapping a few buttons before he cracked his knuckles. Four blue glowing eyes locking on to the hard drive as he extended a spike from his arm, ramming it into the computer and sending it online, beginning his download.

* * *

The Magic Box

Willow was awakened by a strange, metal squeal. She shook her head, trying to clear her eyes. "What the…" Turning to her computer, she noticed that the scan she was running had switched over, a warning light appearing on her screen. "Whoa…guys…wake up!"

Xander groaned. "I didn't cum in you Pete, I swear."

"What?" Giles asked, putting on his glasses.

"Nothing." Xander said quickly.

Tara blinked her eyes rapidly. "What is it sweetie?"

Willow shook her head in shock. "It's the same sound as the thing that hacked the base…" Willow's fingers flew over the keyboard, her eyes growing wider each second. "Oh no…they're hacking into the Defense Grid?"

"The what?" Anya asked.

Xander, his pseudo-military training kicking in, paled. "Not the Pentagon's Defense Grid."

Giles ran his fingers through his hair. "This is bad…with even a percent of that info…"

"Has anyone moved to stop it?" Tara asked.

"No one…" Willow said. "I only detected it because I had my computer looking for similar sound files as the thing that attacked the base." She cracked her fingers. "But I'm going to try and shut it out."

"You can do that?" Xander questioned.

"I can try."

* * *

Frenzy let out happy moans as he downloaded the files, each document scanned and recorded before he moved onto the next one. Each download was measured in microseconds, the whole of the United States Government's secret files being eaten away in seconds.

* * *

"Few more seconds…" Willow pleaded, using every trick she knew. She'd realized within moments that it would be useless to do anything about the hacker, their program running too fast for her to mount an assault.

"He's almost there, Willow." Giles commented, understanding enough about computers to know this was bad.

"Almost…almost…" She paused.

"What are you waiting for?!" Anya asked, utterly confused.

Willow stared at her screen. "The only way to stop this…thing…is to take down the Defense Network..."

"Do it." Xander pleaded. "Before it…gets everything, Wil."

Willow nodded, typing in the final command. "Done." She immediately ripped the phone cord from her computer. "We need to destroy this."

"Why?" Tara asked.

"Because I just committed treason, and I doubt the Pentagon will be happy about that."

* * *

Hank Summers paused in the middle of his singing as a metal scream filled the plane. He considered getting up, then merely went back to playing with the rubber ball.


	4. Chapter 4

LA International Airport LA International Airport

As Hank Summers' plane came to a stop, he was shocked to find himself surrounded by police officers and, stranger still, members of the United States Army.

He raised his hands. "If this is about the alimony checks, I swear I sent them!" He called out, just as a burly soldier grabbed him and smashing him to the tarmac.

"You are under arrest."

"For what?!" Hank called out.

"Treason." The soldier said coldly.

"WHAT?!"

&

As Hank was led away, blubbering like a baby about how he didn't want to be raped by a guy named Big Brutus, Frenzy flipped down from the plane's wheel-wells and scurried towards a police car that sat in idle near the plane. The door swung open, the fidgeting robot snapping his mandibles.

"_Damn humans and their singing…he blew out my audio receptors!_" The infiltrator complained to the hologram cop Barricade was projecting in the drive's seat, giving Hank Summers the finger before turning to a computer in the cop car. _"Found a clue about the Allspark. Explorer has seen our language. Had one son…possible descendents…"_ The 'bot paused as his search completed, revealing a file the Initiative had managed to obtain in their research on a certain Hostile _"…haha!"_

On the screen, an old photo appeared of 4 people: A stunning but cold-looking blonde, an innocent but deadly black haired woman, a massive dark-haired man with a forehead that was possibly larger than Blackout's, and a fair skinned, curly-haired man.

"_Searching for William the Bloody." _Frenzy stated.

&

Crypt of William the Bloody

Spike groaned, pulling himself from the TV. The sun had set, which meant it was time for him to begin his nightly routine of smoking, pissing off the Slayer, and trying to hide his arousal for her while doing said pissing off.

He had just made it to the trap door leading to the upper level when he heard the engine rev outside the crypt. Turning his head, he only stopped to grab an ax before he stormed towards the door, ready to kill whatever was trying to rob him of his beauty sleep.

He emerged just in time to see the Desoto pull onto the main road.

"OI!" He bellowed, giving chase. "Get your own bloody car!" The car continued on, not speeding up but not bothering to slow down. Spike snarled, going into gameface, boots pounding on the road as he raced after his precious Desoto, not bothering to glance back at the strange looks he was getting from the few demons and vampires walking around the graveyard at that time of night.

The Desoto made a left, revving up speed. Spike picked up his pace, dreaming up what violent acts he would commit against the person or creature that had tried to take his baby on his watch.

The chip flared slightly at the thought of harming a human thief, Spike's steps faltering slightly and causing him to lose ground.

"Just another reason to hate this little…" Spike muttered as he ran into the city dump, just making out the Desoto's taillights. He hefted his ax, rounding a turn…

…and froze as he watched a giant, many times Spike's height, suddenly appear, scaling the mountain of garbage.

A giant wearing pieces of the Desoto.

He stood, transfixed, as the…thing…leaned up, firing a beam into the sky. Upon the clouds, a strange, geometrical face seemed to appear from the light. The thing's head…if that was its head, turned to the left, glowing blue eyes locking in on Spike.

And in that moment, William the Bloody did something he had rarely done before

He ran away.

&

Brazil

"Let's hope their telephone line works." Riley muttered as Graham paused to take a drink from his canteen. The other soldiers all paused, catching their breath, the humid air sapping their strength.

They barely had time to jump away as a massive fruit tree crashed to the jungle floor.

"What was that?" Sam asked, staring at the tree.

Fig began talking in Spanish.

"English…English." She reminded him.

Riley checked over his men, counting quickly to make sure they were ok. He never noticed the metal tail slowly rise from the ground, the spear at the end extending as the entire metal appendage reared back to strike.

"WHOA!" Graham shouted, turning towards Riley just as the tail was ready to stab his commander in the head. He fired his weapon, the tail sliding violently back into the ground, the soldiers looking about.

"Open fire!" Riley cried out.

"Contact! Contact!" Someone else yelled.

"Everyone quiet, settle!" Sam shouted. "What the hell is…"

Fig screamed as the tail burst from the jungle floor, impaling him through the gut and thrashing about, shaking him several times before dragging him down below.

The soldiers ran.

They fled as hard as they could, trees flying up and smashing all around them, dirt exploding outward as if mines were being set off, animals screaming and rushing out of the way as the thing chasing Riley and his men continued on its pursuit. Graham turned, letting out a yell as the ground burst behind him, revealing a gigantic metal scorpion.

&

Scorponok skittered after the men, pincers snapping at their ankles. Occasionally, one would try to stop and shoot him, only serving to slow him down slightly and bring about the man or woman's death.

Luck was not on Scorponok's side, as the soldiers managed to burst from the jungle and end up at a small village, the ground packed too hard to make digging faster than just taking them on in the open.

Pity…Scorponok did enjoy his sneak attacks.

&

"Go, move it!" Riley yelled, the traders crying out as they saw the machine monster emerge from the forest. Several of them busted open crates, revealing illegal weapons that they quickly armed themselves with.

It did little, as the scorpion merely chose to fire his missiles at them as well.

"Cover fire! Move it!" Riley commanded. "Sam, cover the rear! Graham! Cover the rear! Move it!" He rushed into a small shack, turning to the owner. "I need a phone!"

"Phone!" The man said, pulling one out. "Fifty bucks!"

"WHAT?!" Riley shouted.

"Fifty bucks!" The owner said stubbornly.

Riley shook with rage. "Did you see that thing out there, the thing trying to kill all of us?!"

The owner pulled a gun out and pointed it at Riley. "Then I would hurry and get the money."

Screaming in frustration, Riley ran back outside to Sam, hiding behind the building she was using for cover. "I need fifty bucks!"

"What?"

"Just give it to me!"

"In my pocket!" Riley reached in, only to get slapped. "Back pocket, pervert."

Riley had the decency to look ashamed, before he remembered where he was. He rushed back into the shack, waving the fifty in the owner's face. "There!"

"Oh, sorry…price now 150."

"What the hell are you trying to pull!"

"Supply and demand." The owner said with a grin.

&

Scorponok zeroed in on the heat signature of two humans trying to hide from him and fired.

&

Riley just managed to cover his face as a ball of plasma broke through the shack. Grimacing as a piece of wood caught his forehead, he wiped away the blood that was now oozing down his face and looked about. Finding the owner buried in some fallen wood, he tugged on the man's leg…

…and came back with a bloody stump, all that was left of the man.

"So much for that deal." Riley muttered, dialing up the phone and running back into battle, tossing it to Graham. "Pentagon!"

&

"Give me a status." One of the commanding officers asked of a tech guy.

The tech glanced over his shoulder at his superior. "Sir, we're tracking a Special Ops team under fire in Brazil. They claim to be survivors of the attack on the Tango Five base."

"Survivors?" The commander said, stunned.

&

Scorponok backed away as several of the men opened fire on him, sand kicking up in his wake. He squealed in anger, trying to get a shot.

"I haven't seen anything like this in my life!" Graham shouted. "We need gunships on station ASAP!"

"Predators' coming up in a minute."

Graham turned his head just in time to see a drone buzz them. Through the phone, the startled cries of the Pentagon officials could be heard.

"What is it?" One man asked Graham through the phone.

"Unknown. I don't…" He paused as Scorponok fired at them once more. "Man, if you seen this shit…"

"We need air support and we need it now." Graham heard another tech say just as one of the buildings to his right exploded, raining bricks and cement on their heads. "ETA one minute!" One of the commanders finally told him, their tone making it clear they were panicking.

Graham grabbed a canister from his belt. "Seven-man team, north of orange smoke!"

Letting the canister fly, Graham watched as it bopped Scorponok on the head, the robot turning and…glaring at him.

"Riley, the heat's coming!"

Riley nodded. "Laze the target!" Each man and woman turned on a special sight fitted onto their guns, a green laser beam shooting out and flickering on Scorponok's hard shell. "Ready, heat's coming!"

Graham, who had abandoned lazing the robot to try and drag a fallen soldierto safety, stared back at Scorponok. "What? BRING IT!" He roared just as the jets swooped in, unleashing their payload. Scorponok twisted about as he was hit, trying his best to avoid the missiles. Columns of sand shot in the sky, obscuring their view…

"No frigging way that thing's still not down." Riley whispered in horror as he saw Scorponok emerge unharmed.

Graham picked up the phone, his voice cold. "Spooky Three Two, use 105 shells." He snorted. "Bring the rain."

The hideous drone of the Spookies filled the air, the massive gunplanes circling overhead. Their cannons loaded, they carefully took aim at the enemy robot, a thudding sound filling the air as they let fly the sabot rounds.

Scorponok howled as his body was hit, the shells ripping away his defenses. Staggered and confused, the robot could only manage to dig into the ground, escaping from the prey turned hunter.

A broken bit of his tail that had been left behind twitched.

&

"I want those men stateside and debriefed…now." The commander said.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: I can't remember when Xander moved out of his parent's basement, but for this story, I am saying he is still there. Also note that to see the Desoto's robot form, search for "Stealth Bumblebee" on Google.

Xander groaned as he opened the door, not fully away yet. As such, he was not ready for Willow and Tara to come breezing past him, making their way towards the basement. "Willow…"

"Hey Xander," Willow chirped.

"What is going on? Its…" He glanced at his watch, "…nine. A bit early, but is it another apocalypse? End of Days? Sexy lesbian and guy threesome?"

"What?"

"What?" Xander said quickly.

"Alexander, who is that?" His father slurred from his spot on the couch in the living room.

"No one dad!" He shouted, turning back only to find Willow and Tara already heading downstairs. "What is going on?" He asked, confused.

"Willow thinks there is m-more to the base attack then what we thought."

"I kept puzzling it out, and something doesn't add up." Willow said, pulling out a laptop that was different from the one she had used before. "I think I can figure out what the hacker was trying to get."

Xander frowned. "Uh…didn't you say that you couldn't go online anymore because, and I misquote, "The government would hunt us down like dogs"?"

"I didn't say that," Willow commented.

"Hence the 'misquote'."

Willow shook her head. "If I use a different computer, like the one I borrow from the girl in the dorm next to ours, and your IP address, I should be ok…I hope."

"Not instilling faith here, Wills," Xander complained, sitting down while the witch got to work.

Willow was absorbed in her work, focused solely on cracking the code. After a few minutes, she began to grin. "Just as I thought…"

Tara leaned over, watching as files began to appear. "Project Iceman?"

"What's Sector 7?" Xander asked.

"And who is Captain Henry Pratt?" Willow said.

Xander's father, from the top of the stairs, glared at them. "Damn it boy, keep it down…"

The house exploded into chaos as men in black riot gear burst in, guns aimed at all of them. Willow held out her hand, trying to summon a protection spell, only for one of the men to counter it with a spell of his own. Tara and Xander were thrown to the ground, Willow's face pressed against Xander's desk. Mr. Harris could be heard screaming like a girl, trying to escape the men.

Xander glared at Willow. "Should be perfectly fine, huh?"

Spike glanced over his shoulder, eyes widening as he say the Desoto still following him. No matter how fast he ran, no matter what small alley or sewer pipe he went down, the damn thing was on his ass the moment he poked his nose out. It was like a demented puppy, nipping at his heels.

Spike was so focused on the Desoto that he missed the lamppost in front of him, slamming into it head first. Groaning, he rubbed his head, only to hear laughter.

'Oh bloody hell,' He thought in annoyance. 'Of all the places…'

Buffy walked towards him, clapping slowly. "A 10 from the American judge…"

"Ha ha, slayer," Spike grumbled, glancing back nervously, seeing that the Desoto was catching up, "You can get your laughs in later…I really need to go now."

"Where are you off too?" Buffy asked with a smirk. "More lamp posts to hit?"

Spike shook his head, hurrying to his feet. "My car is chasing me, I'm losing my mind, time to fly Slayer." And with that he began running again.

Buffy was about to call out a snide comment when she saw the Desoto drive past her, no driver in the vehicle. "Huh." She said simply.

Spike made his way towards a public parking lot, hoping maybe that would offer him a vehicle of his own to ride in…assuming all cars weren't becoming robots.

'It is the bloody Hellmouth.' He thought bitterly, just in time to see a police car pull towards him. "Wonderful," Spike snapped as the cop car came closer. "Listen mate…you're gonna want to leave now."

The cop car drove forward, nudging him slightly.

"Oi!" Spike snarled going into gameface. He was too tired to even think if that was a good idea. "Time to scram!"

The cop car stopped for a moment…before it began to burst apart.

The sides pulled away, the back split and extended, the windshield parted as the grill began to pull away. The sides of the cruiser smashed down, boney silver fingers emerging as the back fully converted into legs, an almost demonic head popping from where the engine should be.

"Oh shit," Spike managed to get out before the car smacked him away, sending him crashing onto the hood of a Malibu.

The police cruiser that was really known as Barricade stomped towards him, gripping the orange car as he lowered his head menacingly towards Spike. **"Are you William the Bloody?"  
**  
Spike leaned back slightly, glaring in defiance at the police-robot. "Who wants to know?"

"**WHERE ARE THE GLASSES!?!"** Barricade roared. **"WHERE ARE THEY!?!"** Not waiting to a response, Spike just managed to leap away before Barricade slammed his hand down, destroying the car Spike had been pinned against.

The vampire, realizing that there was no way he could fight something like…whatever the robot-police-car was, he took off in a run, once again trying to escape. As he rounded towards the exit, his eyes widened as he noticed Buffy running towards him, stake in hand.

"NO!" Spike shouted, tackling her and bringing them to the ground in a tangle of limbs.

Buffy got up, shoving Spike hard. "What is your problem, Blood-breath?!"

Spike waved his hand towards Barricade. "Ok, see the big robot-monster? Doubt that little stake will do much good against him."

Buffy's eyes widened. "What the hell…"

The Desoto skid towards a stop slamming into Barricade and sending him to the ground before it made a U-Turn, ending up behind the two supernatural beings. The doors opened, and the car honked its horn.

"What is that thing?" Buffy whispered.

"You have to get in the car, luv."

"I don't want to get in the car!" Buffy shouted.

"Just get in the car you annoy chit! Go!" Spike grabbed the Slayer by the arm, ignoring the sting of his chip as he threw her into the vehicle and hopped in himself. The Desoto roared to life, taking off just as Barricade transformed into his police car form, giving chase.

"How do I just know this is your fault?!?" Buffy screamed after a particularly sharp turn.

Spike turned to look at her in disbelief. "Ya, because everything is always my fault, Slayer." His stomach lurched as the Desoto burst through a fence, taking them down a hill and into the park. The side door opened, ejecting the two of them, just as Barricade rolled up and transformed.

The Desoto shuddered, doors opening and hood snapping open. The vehicle rose up, two legs forming from its rear, arms popping out from the sides and the hood crumbling to form some sort of chest. A head emerged, looking like a humanoid wearing a version of Darth Vader's breathing mask. The black and yellow robot raised its hands, fists clenched.

Barricade snarled as his chest popped open, Frenzy emerging. The cop-bot's hands transformed into a mace-like weapon, 10 thin spikes gleaming in the moonlight as he dove at the Desoto-bot, the other robot tossing Barricade aside.

Frenzy clicked his jaws, howling in glee as he targeted on Spike.

"Look Spike…it's a robot version of you." Buffy quipped.

Spike nodded, going into gameface and snarling. "Now here is something we can fight!"

Frenzy paused, not expecting the humans to actually engage him. Buffy leapt at him, kicking the little bot in the chest. Frenzy flew back, chittering in confusion at the strength of the hit. Spike was on him instantly, grabbing an arm and ripping it from the robot's torso. Frenzy snapped at him, but Spike snapped back, grinning wickedly as he began to pummel the robot.

Frenzy twisted as best he could, but Spike was much too fast. It was only a second too late that Frenzy realized Spike was moving him towards Buffy, who reached out and easily ripped the robot's head free.

"Not so tough without your big brother, are you?" Buffy said, dropping the head down. She turned towards Spike, glaring at him. "You mind explaining exactly what is going on?"

"I know about as much as you, luv." Spike answered. "Woke up, Desoto was possessed. Chased by robots…all good fun in Sunnyhell."

Buffy was about to comment before they heard the sound of footsteps. Preparing themselves for the worst, both breathed a bit easier when they saw Desoto-bot appear over the hill, victorious. "What is it?" She finally asked.

"A robot, obviously." Spike said. "But that isn't the question." He took a step forward.

"Why are we not attacking the creepy robot?" Buffy asked.

"I think it's on our side…the other one wanted some glasses it thought I had."

"…I think that chip fried your brain," Buffy said coldly.

"Can you talk?" Spike asked, ignoring her.

"XM Satellite Radio…" Desoto-bot responded. The voice changed. "Digital cable brings you…" Another change. "…Columbia broadcasting system…"

"Wait…you talk through your radio?" Spike asked.

The robot clapped its hand, the sound of applause playing.

Spike paused. "What were you doing in the junkyard, other then giving me a heart attack?"

"Message from Starfleet, Captain," A female voice from the Desoto said, before switching to a scientist, "Throughout the inanimate vastness of space…" then to a black preacher, "Angels will rain down like visitors from Heaven! Hallelujah!"

"Well, that settles it, Heaven is your bit, pet." Spike said, taking out a cigarette.

"You idiot," Buffy muttered. "Not real angels…I think this…thing…is an alien."

The bot gave a thumbs up before transforming back into the Desoto, its movements seemingly like a cat laying down to rest. "Anymore questions you want to ask?" The car played as its door opened.

"He wants us to get in the car." Spike said.

"Wait…"

Spike turned around. "Fifty years from now, when you're talking to those fat grandbabies Joyce dreams of you havin', you want to be able to tell'em you got in the car, don't ya?"

Buffy paused but for a moment before she entered the car, Spike sliding in next to her.

None of them noticed Frenzy's head grab into the Desoto's tailpipe and hang on for dear life.


	6. Chapter 6

I own nothing…nothing!

^&^&^&^

The Desoto's engine revved down as it pulled into a picnic area that was about a mile away from the college campus, coming to a stop in a large open clearing. Opening the doors, Spike and Buffy emerged, looking around in confusion.

"So, why exactly are we here?" Buffy questioned, looking about. "Think transforming-car-demon-thingie wants to kill us where no one can see?"

"I doubt that, Slayer." Spike stated, glancing up. "I think he wanted us to see that."

Buffy raised her own eyes, taking a step back as 4 white hot meteors shot above them. Instinct caused her to grab Spike's hand, watching as the 4 each veered off. Seconds later, the ground began to shake.

^&^&^&^

"I'm telling you, Gandalf would totally kick Boba Fett's ass." Jonathan stated.

Andrew shook his head. He, along with Jonathan, were sitting in Warren's basement, bickering about, to them, the most important things in the universe. Warren, for his part, was trying to figure out how to create a freeze gun or a fire gun or something of that nature…Andrew hadn't bothered to ask.

"To insult the greatness that is the Fett man is to bring forth the wrath of God!" Andrew proclaimed.

BOOM

The three looked up as the house shook.

^&^&^&^

At the Magic Box, Anya and Giles were about ready to close up after a late night inventory when they found themselves thrown to the ground, incense showering down on top of them.

^&^&^&^

Spike and Buffy ran towards the treeline, following the fire trial and making it just in time to watch the meteor that had crashed in the forest unfold into a sleek, bipedal…thing…and dart away.

^&^&^&^

"This is so amazing!" Andrew crowed as the three of them ran towards the impact sight. "This is a billion times better than Armageddon, I swear to God!"

"Would you stop saying that!" Warren snarled.

"Look!" Jonathan shouted, pointing to a dark shape that moved behind a house. "What the hell is that thing?"

^&^&^&^

At an upscale auto lot, one of the sleek bipedal aliens jumped from the roof, examining a Porsche.

^&^&^&^

"Anya, I don't think this is wise…" Giles called out as the two of them headed for the remains of the donut shop, which was now little more then a pile of concrete and lumber.

Ignoring him, the former vengeance demon screwed up her face as a massive metallic creature pulled himself from the wreckage.

"Nice going!" She shouted. "Xander loved that donut shop! Now he'll be all moopy and refuse to give me orgasms. Thank you so much, you hideous…robot thing."

The giant robot glanced at her, confused, before making his way towards a proper vehicle to scan…and away from the crazy woman.

^&^&^&^

20 minutes later, Buffy and Spike found themselves once more in the Desoto, being driven now through a what could best be described as Sunnydale's warehouse district…aka Vamp Housing Projects.

"Bringing back old memories, Spike?" Buffy muttered as they pulled up behind one building. The Desoto let loose a near ear shattering squeal, several vampires and demons quickly leaving the area.

Spike rubbed his forehead. "I am in pain and I hate the person I'm with…yeah, like old times."

"Hate me, Spikey?" Buffy asked sarcastically. "You didn't hate it when you grabbed my hand."

"Oi! You grabbed my hand, ya daft bint."

"I so did not…"

"Did too."

The Desoto revved its engine, bring to the two supernatural beings' attention that they were no longer alone.

As they had been bickering, a black truck, a silver Porsche, a green Hummer ambulance and a massive blue and red semi with flames painted on the nose had pulled up into the alley, idling quietly.

"Friends of yours, mate?" Spike asked the car.

The semi shuddered, its hood cracking apart, grill sliding together and a thousand other bits and pieces began to move on their own, rearranging their form. Spike and Buffy took several steps back as the semi seemed to fold in on itself while also expanding, pieces of the engine, undercarriage and cab all twisting rapidly as the semi…stood up.

Before them, towering over the two, stood a red and blue humanoid robot creature, his great face nearly as large as Buffy herself. Lowering himself down, the massive blue head, with its shining azure eyes, took them in carefully.

Behind them, the other vehicles transformed as well, taking on humanoid forms.

"Are you William Pratt, also known as William the Bloody, Childe and Drusilla the Mad, GrandChilde of Angelus, mortal son of Henry and Anne Pratt?"

Buffy glanced nervously at Spike. "It knows your name."

"Who wants to know?" Spike demanded.

"My name is Optimus Prime. We are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron."

"But you can call us Autobots for short." The ambulance robot said.

Buffy nodded. "Less of a mouthful."

"What's crackin', little bitches?" The Porsche asked.

"My first lieutenant. Designation, Jazz." Optimus stated.

Jazz nodded, noticing a car abandoned by some of the minions the Desoto had scared away. "This looks like a nice place to kick it!" He flopped down, reclining against the car.

"Uh…how did he learn to talk like Flavor Flav?" Buffy asked.

"We have learned Earth's languages from the World Wide Web." Optimus gestured towards the black truck. "Our weapons specialist, Ironhide."

Ironhide spun two cannons out, pointing them at Buffy and Spike. "You feeling lucky, punk?"

"Easy there, gun boy." Spike snarled.

"Just kidding. I just wanted to show you my cannons."

"Our medical officer, Ratchet."

The ambulance, Ratchet, sniffed. "Hmm…the female appears to be both hungry and…I believe the word is horny?"

Spike raised an eyebrow.

"Just the adrenaline." Buffy muttered.

"You already know your guardian, Bumblebee."

Spike chuckled. "That's the best you could come up with?"

Bumblebee cocked his fists. "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!" Muhammad Ali's voice cried out.

"His vocal processors were damaged in battle." Ratchet said, firing a laser at Bumblebee. The robot groaned, letting out metallic squeals. "I'm still working on them."

"When you're done with that, mind giving the chip I got in my noggin a zap?" He turned to Optimus. "Now that we have had the pleasure, why the bloody hell are you here?"

Optimus did not let Spike's frustration bother him. "We are here looking for the AllSpark. And we must find it before Megatron."

"The whatie-what?" Buffy asked. "And who is Metatron?"

"I believe he's Carter Daniels." Spike stated.

"Megatron." Optimus said, touching a button on the side of his head. Suddenly, a projection appeared below Spike and Buffy, the two leaping back as they saw a strange alien world appear around them. "Our world was once a grand empire, peaceful and just. That is…until we were betrayed by Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. All that defied them were destroyed. Our war finally consumed the planet, and the AllSpark was lost to the stars. Megatron followed it to Earth, only to crash land and become frozen, unable to activate. Captain Henry Pratt found him during his last expedition to the North Pole."

"My father." Spike whispered. "Is…is that why…"

"He activated Megatron's guidance system…the flash destroyed your father's mind…but more than that, it etched the location of the cube upon his glasses."

"How did you know about his glasses?"

Optimus pressed another button, an image of a Peer Site appearing…and the smiling image of Dawn's personal page, along with pictures about her report.

"Of…course." Buffy muttered, looking down at her watch. "And what do you know...Tuesday."


End file.
